I Bet Richard Simmons Would Sweat To This Oldie

These images from The Charles Atlas Strength Training Course remind me of the Naked Yoga books -- only Atlas was years ahead of such things as eroticizing a workout.

Whoa, Nelly

Whoa there, Nelly; this Hong Shan jade horse may be well hung, but it's for showin' not for, err, stowin'


The seller says:

Large Jade Phallus Phallic with Horse -5000 B.C.

Dating: Neolithic Period (Hong Shan culture, 5000-3000 B.C)

Material: Jade stone

Weight: 1850gram, 1.85Kg

Dimension: 335*105mm, 13.19"*4.13" (Length*Height)

Condition: Good Original, Slight degenerate, very fine hand carving

Horny For Nostalgia

Gracie reviewed a retro lingerie fetish film and it got her thinking about the fashions she wore in the 80's and why viewing 80's porn doesn't turn her on with nostalgia:

Simply watching 80's porn won't do that for me because for the most part the fashions shown rarely reflect "me" at that time. And, no, I didn't really watch porn in the 80's. Aside from a few views for a fellow I was dating, I had no need to watch it.

She brings up a few points which were likely brewing in my subconscious... Like how much do things like clothing & setting affect my viewing or porn?

I know when I laugh out loud & become snark-master rather than slipping my hand in my panties; but what about more subtle things, like when I want to connect to the time and place? I know I can't really relax into arousal with erotica so poorly written that a character has a third hand reaching for her heaving bosom, or when his shorts inexplicably find themselves back on again. Like readers of historical fiction who freak when there's a car being driven on roads before Queen Victoria's birth, I can't help but be annoyed by those things -- and such annoyances interfere with my willing suspension of disbelief.

Now, we all know porn by & large offers little in the way of practicality & accuracy, but we do have to find something to relate to. So what happens when you are turning to porn for a sense of nostalgia? Surely porn can offer the fantasy of your own yesteryear, right?

But what Gracie says is that she's yet to find porn that can transport her back to her youth, her "glory days", because none seems to capture or reflect the fashions & settings of her at that time.

Is that too much to expect from porn?

Maybe; but it still raises some good questions, if not libidos horny for nostalgia.

It makes me wonder what & who the fashions in porn reflect today... What other elements in porn might be missing which renders porn non-relatable... Is this what makes amateur porn so appealing ~ that we see ourselves in those clothes, those situations and so are more responsive?

I don't know. I'm still looking through porn and thinking about all this. Of course I'm also still just looking at porn for the fuck of it too; so it may be awhile before I get any closer to those answers.

Me too. *wink* But now I have another excuse to look at more of it.

Add your thoughts to the conversation.

The Offensive Breast

Pop Tart at KKC sent me these scans, marked pages from 1954's The Family Physician, by Dr. Herman Pomeranz & Dr. Irvin S. Koll. She knew I'd have much to say about them.

The defacement begins with the combating cancer breast exams.



An "X" is placed over each breast -- nude breasts sans nipples, because nipples cannot be seen even in medical books. They must only be found in men's mags and National Geographic; a rule that still applies today, no matter how antiquated and foolish.

The Xs continue throughout the fitness pages too -- but you'll notice that the naked men in exercise diapers are free of inked-x-comments.




This leads me to conclude that the person who inked judgment was a girl, approximately 12 years of age.

This is an age where young girls are rather modest & uncomfortable with nudity and the sexual life of the female form. Even if the photos are not intended to be sexual she feels it -- like the photos of naked pygmies young boys masturbated to in National Geographic magazines, she is painfully aware. The X marks the spot where she is uncomfortable.

It's either that, or the work of a misogynist male. And I don't like to think about that.

Do You See What I See?

If you've been having difficulty seeing what I see here, perhaps this post will help.

Snopes investigates -- and confirms -- that an illustration from withdrawn Yellow Pages ad reveals risqué image when a portion of it is viewed upside-down.





There are a few other examples at Snopes of this image in advertising too.

High-Five Fridays #4

If you think collecting erotica is hot, try creating it. Secondhand Rose and Shon Richards discuss masturbation as a part of the creative process in writing.

Curvaceous Dee has put a dirty spin on a classic with Hey Dude.

While we're talking creativity, here's a Mardi Gras haiku from Turkey Necks -- I would have just linked direct-like, but at the time of this posting I only got server errors and 404's when going for the permlink &/or comments. So here is my favorite:

sorority girls
so drunk and, briefly, topless
make their fathers proud.

Lucrezia magazine has an interview with Raphael Perez -- yes, there are art nudes to view. *wink*

And, I would be remiss, if I didn't high-five Mark Frauenfelder of Boing Boing for honoring SPS (for the second time!). This time he noted my Turtles card post -- and added some info too. (No, I won't tell you what it is; you're supposed to visit the mighty Boing Boing! And don't skip the comments either or you'll miss a connection to the Masons.)

Find out how to give your High-Five Fridays here!

The purpose of this meme is to give high-fives to 5 people, posts, blogs and/or websites you've admired during the week. I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 5 high-fives on Friday. Trackbacks, pings, linky widgets, comment links accepted!

Visiting fellow High-Fivers is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your High-Fives in others comments (please note if NWS).

Find more High-Five Friday folks here!

Modern Vs. Vintage Porn: Is The Problem The Director's Cut?

In Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge, Gracie carries on with our discussion of vintage Playboy covers:

The details of what the viewer could do, would do if given the chance, was all inside their own heads; viewers were therefore their own directors. But with porn and video the action was no longer inside our own heads, others directed it. All we had to do was add lube and work our hands.

Sometimes I am convinced that what most people are complaining about when they say they hate porn, even wanting to restrict it further, is not that they are against publications or films which are solely for sexual arousal and release but rather that they are unmoved by it. Porn has in many cases removed the imagination of the viewer, directed us not as we desire, but forced us to see things which remove the mystery. We no longer have time to be seduced by the people before us before we are tossed into the action; graphic images of genitalia spread across our screens before we've even decided we'd take him or her home.

I'd love to hear what you have to say, so if you promise to go read it & comment, I promise to post more images later today...

The Friday Night Bookstore Crowd

As part time Walden Books seller (from the mid 80's to early 90's) I often worked the Friday night shift. Even in bookstores there are the cool kids who have parties and dates to attend, but really, most folks didn't like working Friday nights because of the clientele. Friday nights meant customers with weekly paychecks and those who made a bee-line for the mall bookstore were the male geeks.

Well, I shouldn't say they made a bee-line. It was more like they cashed their checks, had a meal out and then headed to the bookstore. It was an event for most of them. You'd think with the number of them it was an organized event, but it wasn't. It was a crowd of individuals, a date-night for one if you will, with the crowd consisting of socially awkward individuals who didn't speak to each other. (Again, I should point out this phenomena was seen in the male of the geek species; women are an entire other story.)

So the store is full of single men, with a penchant for computer and tech magazines, who all manage to merge at the magazine rack but never, ever mingle. There's no talking. No boasting of equipment. No eye rolling over who would pick that pc magazine. No talking at all because that would mean human connection, and clearly these boys weren't up for it.

My first Friday night, I saw the busy store with its well behaved customers (these guys waited patiently in line and never sighed impatiently or did most of the other annoying things I experienced on other busy sales days) and I wondered what the fuss was all about. Why did the other workers not want to work Fridays? It was just me, the manager who sat in back doing her weekly reports and only came on the floor to close the register, and Gary, the only male employee. So at my first opportunity, I asked Gary what the problem with Fridays was. Gary just mumbled something about other employees having plans -- but I did notice he blushed. Something wasn't quite right here...

It wasn't until my second Friday night shift that I figured it all out.

Gary had worked the register the previous Friday and he began the shift there as well. At one point he left to help a (non-geek) customer find a book, and I, seeing a line begin to form, jumped to pitch in and ring sales. As soon as I appeared at the register the first geek in line seemed reluctant to have me process the sale. He stood uncomfortably, even looked towards the back of the store where Gary had disappeared, as I stood with my hands out waiting to receive his magazines -- a huge friendly smile on my face. It was an awkward moment. But eventually he accepted that Gary's return wasn't going to save him so he handed his items to me and I saw him flush as he lowered his head.

I scanned the first pc magazine and set it to the side. Then the next pc magazine, and set that to the side. That's when I saw it. A copy of Penthouse. It all clicked then.

These guys came in to buy their computer & tech magazines and their porn.

I know I blushed a bit during this first sale. Not because of the porn shocking me, but because I wasn't expecting it. Most of the porn buyers I'd seen were men who boldly strode in weekdays, typically on their lunch breaks, and purposefully walked to the adult magazine section of the rack and still walking, used one hand to grab the nudie mag as they walked to the counter. It was more like a relay event, with a porn mag hand-off. They used speed and a bit of testosterone aggression to get the process over with as quickly as possible. They may have been embarrassed, but they seemed more like they wanted to get to the centerfolds during their lunch break and stopping to purchase was a necessary inconvenience. The geeks, on the other hand, were clearly embarrassed. They hid their porn beneath their other magazines and apparently were more comfortable with Gary checking them out than me.

With the next sale, I was prepared and I didn't blush. Now I knew the Friday Night Secret.

I stayed at the register all night. Gary seemed a bit flustered upon his return, but I wasn't moving. (It was faster work and just staying on the sales floor I had had little else to do -- these guys didn't need help finding what they wanted.)

That night when we closed Gary asked me how it was. I told him it was fine. He was clearly uncomfortable for me, so I told him not to worry, it didn't creep me out. They were just lonely guys who wanted porn, no biggie. And despite how busy we were, the store was impeccably clean. These guys were well-behaved shoppers all around.

The word got out that I liked working Friday nights and some of the full-time ladies teased me. They talked about how I must thrill the shy boys with my big bust line, and how they'd likely start lining up on Fridays just to see me. "Better they dream of you than buy porn," they'd say. Which then creeped out the other ladies who said that's what they feared most. I laughed it all off, but felt bad for these geeks who heaven forbid should ever have one of these ladies meet them at the register.

These guys were nice. Shy, but nice. Over the years I got a few of them (all regulars you know) to even exchange small talk at the register. A few had given me the old palm stroke as money was exchanged, so I was careful not to give them any indication I was flirting or interested, but I felt badly about how lonely these guys were. I figured that maybe knowing I was comfortable with them -- geek stuff, porn and all -- that they'd see that others could be too. And if any masturbated to the busty book girl whose palm they'd dared to stroke, well, who cares? You never know who is going to masturbate to mental images of you anyway.

I often wonder about the Friday Night Geeks of past years... Do they have stacks of neatly preserved porn? Boxes of pristine retro pc magazines? Do they remember the book seller who smiled and chatted with them?

And with the ease of the Internet, does this still occur?

Photo credits: Retro pc mags from GameSetWatch. Retro porn mags via Wonderclub: specifically, January, 1984, Penthouse and November, 1989, Playboy.

Sex Machine Museum

Prague is home to the first ever museum dedicated to sex machines. The Sex Machine Museum is located at Melantrichova 18, Prague 1, Old Town -- just off the Old Town Square in the heart of the old town.



A result of founder and owner Oriano Bizzochi's curiosity and research, the collection was first intended for the Museum of Curiosities (in the San Marino republic).

It is an exposition of mechanical erotic appliances, the purpose of which is to bring pleasure and allow extraordinary and unusual positions during intercourse.

On an area of three floors there are more than 200 objects and mechanical appliances on view, a gallery of art with erotic themes, a cinema with old erotic films, erotic clothing and many other things pertaining to human sexuality.

Here a very complicated sex machine is shown -- and below that, what it looks like in use.




Here's a sampling of some of the old sex toys, for men and women.




These hand-cranked masturbation tools (Germany, 1910) seem not only like more work than just using your hands directly, but more suited to the wood work shop. Sure, they're early hand-operated vibrators but they look more like drills to me...



Not everything on display is of a pro-sex nature. For example, this Electric Anti-Masturbation Machine (France, 1915) was used to prevent boys from nighttime delights.



The ring was placed on his penis and if/when an erection was achieved the machine rang a bell in the parent's room. Mortifying for all I'm sure, but less punitive than what it looks like -- I thought it might give the boy a shock.

Here, a tourist recounts the trip to the museum with her father:

"I see," my father said from somewhere behind me. "You're going to pretend you're not with me!"

"You're my Dad--I love you!" I shouted sprinting upstairs to get to the third floor ahead of him. "Now stop talking to me you strange, strange man!"

Too funny ;)

If you continue reading her story, here's a photo of the wall of body piercings mentioned in the story:



Images via ahsoon.net -- more photos there!

For more on sex machines and toys: 1997 video of webcams and Dildonics, (via Fleshbot).

Top (Hat) Of The Mornin' To Ya

Hold the phone, I've got some great links for you this morning.

(Yeah, and I'm pandering the posed art nudes for ya.)

Found at Gloria Brame's blog, a list of Fine Art Nude, Figure, Glamour and Dance Photography books.

Ms Angela of Zen Fetish has posted three poems by e.e. cummings.

Gracie at Sex Kitten has an interesting post on the difficulties of being a sex-positive female publisher. Here's a bit of it:

"Playboy's been around, been accepted, for decades. Why not Sex Kitten?"

"Because Playboy's for men."

"And men can like sex, but women can't?"

"Of course, women can like sex; but men are supposed to like and talk about it more."

"But in Playboy the women, the centerfolds, admit they like sex ~ it's probably the only true part of their bios!"

"But it's still for men; male fantasies of women."

"So men are happier fantasizing that the women they are objectifying like sex than they are in accepting that real women they could screw like sex."

It's here where he becomes silent.

I can understand why; it's rather difficult to hear that outloud and neither want to accept it nor have a defense for it.

And while you're there, check out Masturbation, Bonding and The Threat To Society by DeeDee:

But unlike other basic drives, sex is different from food and water in that we can satisfy ourselves without actually achieving the goal of the drive. Arousal and orgasm can be achieved without contact with another human being yet be just as satisfying (at least in the physical needs department), while thirst and hunger may only be sated with water and food.

Images from the "stop reading dirty books" folder.

Caring For Your Monkey

To keep it nice and clean was Mary's greatest hope.
So she washed her little monkey with the best kind of soap.

I've had this image on my pc for a few years, and never did find out anything more on it. Occasionally I run another search -- this time I found an old ebay auction. The listing no longer had the photo, but did have this information:

1. Mary has a little Monkey, just as cute as it can be,

It was covered with the softest hair that ever you did see.

2. To keep it nice and clean was Mary's greatest hope,

So she washed her little Monkey with the best kind of soap.

3. The boys all like Mary, and like her Monkey too,

And when they play so nice with it, what can Mary do?

4. Once Mary's Monkey got real cold That filled her with alarm

So she bought some woolen pants For to keep her Monkey warm.

5. Mary went in swimming and she took her little pet.

A wave hit in the "Good Old Summer Time"

and she got her monkey wet.

6. Mary now is married and it keeps her on the jump,

And between the man and Mary, her Monkey has to hump.

It's clear from these cards that Mary's attentions to her Monkey are about her own genitals. While most of us think of 'spanking the monkey' and other monkey euphemisms are about the penis, it's rather clear that this was not always so.

I blame later periods when women were not to masturbate (which likely lead to the later "hysteria" requiring hysterectomies) for dropping the ability to refer to female monkey business.

The seller says they are risque arcade cards -- but they do measure 3 1/2 X 5 1/2 inches like a postcard.

Perhaps this information will help me find more information (and this time while the auction is still on).

Single Finger Vintage Vibe

Reading over at Slip of a Girl, I found this post about a Wilco Fashions booklet. A trip to the listing and I discovered that it contains an ad for the "Vibra Finger".

The listing says: We are told this is to stimulate tired aching gums, tendons, muscles and joints of the face and head. It reads further "The probing finger creates tingling sensastions any beauty conscious woman will appreciate. Use it on the face, scalp, anywhere."

Well, believe it or not, I have that page for you, right out of the Wilco book. (Click to enlarge the image -- it is readable!)

I don't know about you, but a single finger vibrator doesn't scream 'oral health' to me. I doubt it did to anyone then either.

Vintage vibes are one of my passions. Finding one of these would be most cool.

Because I have quite the digital & paper library of things I have not managed to find or acquire, here's another ad for the same product.

Masturbation

The Fatal Consequences of Masturbation, published in 1844.

And a more modern look at masturbation in a 1945 issue of Strength and Health Magazine.

Old Vibrators Still Create A Buzz

I know quite a few women who collect antique and vintage vibrators. Many of them find themselves brought into this area from a purely feminist point of view -- fascinated with the vibe's links to "hysteria" and "oppression of women's sexuality".

I have a few of these vintage toys myself... they are not easy to find -- and often they are not easy to identify. For images of some of the devices, see these links:

Another 'history of', with images and details of several antique models.

In Still Shakin, Sarah Klein interviews Mike Campbell of VibratorMuseum.com (which oddly is not linked to in the article, so I provide it here).

Good Vibrations has an online museum of vibrators -- however, once you agree you are old enough to view it, you'll not be taken to it. So, click the first link, 'agree' (if you do agree!) and then hit this second link to see the museum.

For more on vibrators, read A Brief History of Vibrators and Grandma's Secret: The History of the Vibrator. The latter relies much on The Technology of Orgasm; "Hysteria," the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction, by Rachel P. Maines. (And here's a review of the book itself.)

The book is quite the bible in this area; the author and her research have been featured on the Discovery Channel.

There is also an exclusive eBay group for those who collect Vintage Vibrators and Antique Massagers, and a Yahoo group as well.

And, big fans, can include trips to the Sex and Technology exhibition at The Erotic Museum and the Spark of Life exhibit at the Bakken, in their summer travel plans.