How Many Nude Ladies Does It Take To Hold Up Your Pants?

A sexy belt buckle (and bottle opener) with nine nude ladies forming a skull -- much like a famous Salvador Dali photograph.

Well Ain't That A Kick In The Crotch

I'm sure most of you have seen these old bootjacks where the V notch for boot removal is a woman's crotch, but this one is especially neat as it's marked "NELL'S PLACE". While it's supposedly marked for a business, the fact that it's put on a bootjack of a spread female form has additional innuendo (or would that be a double entendre?)

She'll Kitsch You Goodnight

If you liked the retro nudie radios, you might find this lights you up too.




Box is marked MADE IN HONG KONG, NO 311 F.

Real Men Use Their Own

But, if your pecker can't open the bottle of Bud, you might have to use this penis bottle opener to impress the St Paulie Girl.



Seller says it measures 3 1/2 inches long, and, "is solid metal maybe lead or iron but I'm not sure what metal it is."

Fucking Vienna Bronze Letter Opener

A 9 inch long antique bronze letter opener depicting a fornicating satyr and a nymph, cast in the traditional lost wax technique by Bermann.







From the seller's listing, this information on satyrs:

Satyrs are most commonly described as having the upper half of a man and the lower half of a goat. They are also described as possessing a long thick tail, either that of a goat or a horse. Mature satyrs are often depicted with goat's horns, while juveniles are often shown with bony nubs on their foreheads. Attic painted vases depict satyrs as being strongly built with flat noses, large pointed ears, long curly hair, and full beards, with wreaths of vine or ivy circling their heads. Satyrs often carry the thyrsus: the rod of Dionysus tipped with a pine cone.

They are described as roguish but faint-hearted folk — subversive and dangerous, yet shy and cowardly. As Dionysiac creatures they are lovers of wine, women and boys, and are ready for every physical pleasure. They roam to the music of pipes (auloi), cymbals, castanets, and bagpipes, and love to dance with the nymphs (with whom they are obsessed, and whom they often pursue), and have a special form of dance called sikinnis. Because of their love of wine, they are often represented holding winecups, and appear often in the decorations on winecups.

Satyrs are not immortal, but grow old. On painted vases and other Greek art, satyrs are represented in the three stages of a man's life: mature satyrs are bearded, and are shown as balding, a humiliating and unbecoming disfigurement in Greek culture.

Pump David Michael Hasselhoff Til He Spews

Via Oddee.com

"She Really Gets Excited When Someone Calls."

Jim's lucky enough to own a risqué Ma Belle phone by Bob Ebers. He left a few tidbits of info in the comments on that post, and was kind enough to send along the following with photos of his cool phone:

The handset was meant to be dark sunglasses. The nipples still light up when the phone rings. She really gets excited when someone calls.

You can tell mine is a later model than the one in the blog post because of the flush recessed dial. Mine is numbered 375 of 400.

Soon after 1975, Bob stopped making these phones. He considered himself an artist, and even though these phones were profitable, it was no longer a creative outlet.

Thanks, Jim; and if you should ever tire of her... Think of me *wink*

PS For some reason Blogger isn't showing the flashing image -- you can see it here.

Naughty Retro Treasure Chest Coin Bank

A real coin-slut:

Instructions say to press button and her hand lifts her skirt and you see words that say...more money please...on her thigh. Put in a coin and then her other hand lowers her dress to expose her breasts which light up. In good condition, but not working (it has been sitting in storage a long time) and has small pressure crack on rear of red base. At least 20 years old.

Found at SMS Noveltiques, via Collectors' Quest.

Can You Tune-In Tokyo? (Part Two)

Still want to play twist-her transistor? Removing the doll parts, this radio just goes for the dials and plays up the boobs.



Via Sex Is A Red-Blooded Thing.

This Blows My Skirt Up

Watching What's My Line? is a nightly obsession -- along with I've Got a Secret, for which, now that I know this, I continually heckle Bess Meyerson, calling her a dirty, dirty whooore. In tonight's What's My Line? the second guest was Mr. Les J. Jackson who operated a "skirt-blowing machine". Amusing for the show, but I was surprised to discover a few things...

On the matter of this service being a part of the entertainment world, the answer was 'yes'; but then on the issue of helping actors or actresses, the reply was 'no'. I has assumed this was used for films, but it was revealed that this was an attraction at an amusement park.

Mr. Jackson was employed at the Steel Pier Amusement Park in Atlantic City, New Jersey, and while I found nothing regarding that specific park, it seems this shocking, titillating amusement was at other parks, including the Pontchartrain Beach Amusement Park in New Orleans:

...the Cockeyed Circus, a fun house of distorting mirrors, slanted floors, and gusts of air that blew up ladies’ skirts. " Women in those days didn’t wear slacks much, it was skirts, And all of a sudden you would look down and realize that there was an audience down on the Midway watching you," says Widmer, " It was an open room and they could see your skirts blowing up and that was the laugh."

For the record, both Dorothy Kilgallen and Arlene Francis admitted participating in such amusements.

Now I shall call them dirty, dirty who-ers too.

Can You Tune-In Tokyo?

The old joke of tuning in Tokyo while pretending to adjust or tune a woman's nipples or breasts like knobs on an old radio set comes to life with this retro transistor radio.




A little sexy doll in a see-through babydoll nightie has her arms stretched over her head, accentuating and offering her bust -- which makes sense because her nipples are the dials. One is for tuning in stations, the other is for switching the radio on &/or off.

According to auction listings, she measures 11 1/2 inches tall, 6 inches wide.






While one is listed now, these radios are not super common. At least some of these radios were made by Windsor, but they must not have clear maker marks (or, quite unlikely, sellers neglect such details), so the best way to search for them is with nude doll radio, sexy transistor radio doll, and variations thereof (including misspellings).

The first one I'd ever seen was in rough shape and I've been watching (and saving photos) ever since.






In 6 months, I've only spotted 6 of them (and some sold over $50); so happy hunting.

UPDATE: 3/08/08

A blonde version of the doll -- and you can just make out the box, with its clear plastic window; but the seller has not identified the maker.

The Moaner Lisa

I don't usually post new objects here, but when I spotted this Moaner Lisa Orgasmic Bottle Opener at The Diary of an English Courtesan, I had to make an exception -- because, well, it is exceptional, in a kitsch sort of a way.

Al Franken Receives Mysterious Call From The 70's On The Super BoobaPhone!

From page 71 in Popular Mechanics (August, 1975), the mini-article reads:

Artist Bob Ebers thinks the standard telephone is too sterile-looking and lifeless. So he's created a series of "People Phones" -- humorous characterizations made of plywood and odds and ends of hardware. The figures -- in about a dozen types -- all incorporate actual working phones. They've attracted so much attention they're now selling for $150 to $300 from Bob Ebers, 35 West 20th St, New York NY 10011.

$150 - $300? That's a lot of money back now.

This & That For Collectors

As you vibe collectors know, the Hello Kitty vibe is one of those rare modern must-haves in your collection. It hasn't been available for years, but there's a new one now.

(I hate to possibly jinx this release by calling it a vibe, but as we all know, many innocent personal massagers have been shown with shoulders or simply labeled such to avoid regulations.)

Bondi Media to release archives of magazines on DVD, including Playboy magazines by the decade, starting this October with issues from the 1950's.

As a collector, I prefer the hunt for old magazine copies -- but I do welcome this trend. Like The New Yorker's DVD set of archived issues, this is a boon for those enough with pockets too shallow to really get the elusive issues in paper. Now I can at least research -- and from home, with no nasty library limits (or fines). These DVDs also provide a catalog list, helping collectors identify old or missing issues by offering a visual record (much easier to snap up a copy when you know what it looks like!).

Leona Chalmers, Mother of Menstrual Cups

In 1937, Leona Chalmers seems to have produced the first commercial menstrual cup.


It was remarkably similar to cups made today.


The Tass-ette Cup could not out-sell Kotex, which is rather like cups today -- women prefer to use paper products rather than cups when dealing with the curse.

For more on Tass-ette and menstrual cup history, Mum.org.

We Must, We Must... Inflate Or Truss

Via Slip of a Girl comes this post on vintage Frederick's of Hollywood catalogs wherein we find...

more on female self-help via body modification



and men are not spared



Which reminded me of this image of an old 'belly flattener' I have saved on my pc:

Big Dick Pinball

In Such A Supple Wrist Coop shares a plethora of sexy pinball paraphernalia pics, including the luscious Ann-Margret. *Ding! Ding!*

Of course, this custom piece, "Big Dick," is my favorite. (Yeah, but does he have the balls for pinball? lol)

Modern Mata Haris

Vintage electronic female spies.

Single Finger Vintage Vibe

Reading over at Slip of a Girl, I found this post about a Wilco Fashions booklet. A trip to the listing and I discovered that it contains an ad for the "Vibra Finger".

The listing says: We are told this is to stimulate tired aching gums, tendons, muscles and joints of the face and head. It reads further "The probing finger creates tingling sensastions any beauty conscious woman will appreciate. Use it on the face, scalp, anywhere."

Well, believe it or not, I have that page for you, right out of the Wilco book. (Click to enlarge the image -- it is readable!)

I don't know about you, but a single finger vibrator doesn't scream 'oral health' to me. I doubt it did to anyone then either.

Vintage vibes are one of my passions. Finding one of these would be most cool.

Because I have quite the digital & paper library of things I have not managed to find or acquire, here's another ad for the same product.

Chastity Belts

Chastity Belt Information.

Help for Genitals

Humans are never happy with their appearance. Websites and searches for sex enchancement products tell us this, as do all the other adverting and marketing we are bombarded with on a daily basis.

But the human quest to modify or control genitalia has a history. It's not just items for pleasure or chastity, but there is a history for other problems as well...

Perhaps you want to rid yourself of your menstrual blood without having to wait for it's natural release... Try the Menstrual Blood Extractor.

(I warn you to consider seriously if you really want the look at the prolapsed uterus they suggest in the link!)

I actually remember books on menstrual extraction in the 70's -- along with mirror parties in which women gathered to look at their own (and each other's) labia and cervix. (I shall try to find those books for you!)

Men, you are not exempt from improvement inventions.

The Universal Penis Expander is for you.

Shocking to see this on a small child, I know. What parents think their son will need this? Don't babies and small children have large/exaggerated looking genitalia as it is?

For more on the penis extenders, click the 'history' link at the site.

Are these products practical? Freakish? I don't know, you tell me.

Certainly we have needs or desires which inspire such inventions.

Sex Machines

I first discovered that sex machines weren't 'new' things when I watched Weimar Love: Hot Sex in Pre-Nazi Berlin and learned that they existed in the 1920s. I knew that dildos and even vibrators had been around quite some time, but I thought fucking machines were relatively new to the sex scene.

In The Technology of Orgasm Rachel Maines chronicles over fifty sex devices developed before 1900. Ranging from small hand operated appliances to large steam powered machines (which required a crew, in a separate room, to shovel in the coal), all created under medical 'concern' for curing women of "hysteria".

In the 1930's and 40's, these machines were advertised heavily, if a bit secretively.

Most often they were in women's publications, but sometimes they were marketed to their audience in smutty publications, which clearly shows they were not so much for "hysteria" as pleasure.

Other times they seemed to be more comedic than the advertising they're purported to be -- like with this "Rape - All" copy.

Supposedly made by the "American Rolling & Frigging Mills" company, the copy is "wishful" if not silly.

In case you think this 'ad' is serious, note the corporate location in "Duchebag Wisconsin".

This drew into question, in my mind anyway, if this "Universal Intercourse Machine" wasn't also a joke...

A closer look at this 'ad' (found in a 1930's Tijuana Bible) exposes this too is a joke. Note the small boxed text at bottom left: "Tune in on Station A.S.S. and Hear Big-Tit Mae using a Universal"

For more on real sex machines:

See this review of Weimar Love where you can also watch clips.

Read the first chapter of The Technology of Orgasm

Old Vibrators Still Create A Buzz

I know quite a few women who collect antique and vintage vibrators. Many of them find themselves brought into this area from a purely feminist point of view -- fascinated with the vibe's links to "hysteria" and "oppression of women's sexuality".

I have a few of these vintage toys myself... they are not easy to find -- and often they are not easy to identify. For images of some of the devices, see these links:

Another 'history of', with images and details of several antique models.

In Still Shakin, Sarah Klein interviews Mike Campbell of VibratorMuseum.com (which oddly is not linked to in the article, so I provide it here).

Good Vibrations has an online museum of vibrators -- however, once you agree you are old enough to view it, you'll not be taken to it. So, click the first link, 'agree' (if you do agree!) and then hit this second link to see the museum.

For more on vibrators, read A Brief History of Vibrators and Grandma's Secret: The History of the Vibrator. The latter relies much on The Technology of Orgasm; "Hysteria," the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction, by Rachel P. Maines. (And here's a review of the book itself.)

The book is quite the bible in this area; the author and her research have been featured on the Discovery Channel.

There is also an exclusive eBay group for those who collect Vintage Vibrators and Antique Massagers, and a Yahoo group as well.

And, big fans, can include trips to the Sex and Technology exhibition at The Erotic Museum and the Spark of Life exhibit at the Bakken, in their summer travel plans.