I Think I Love You, Sadie, Sally, Whatever Your Name Was

Still fascinated by the Pink Pussycat, of which there is little on the tubes of Internets, I've become drawn to Sally Marr (aka Sally Marsalle and Boots Malloy), the former dean of the college of strip tease who was also Lenny Bruce's mother.

The only photo I could find of Marr was via TV Party, which had this clip of Marr from an early episode of Playboy After Dark (Playboy After Dark 2 is also available).

Virtually whenever anyone writes about Marr, and admittedly few do, they mention her 'bawdy' and 'outspoken' nature. The examples are that she's said to have 1) taken son Lenny to see burlesque shows when he was just 12 and 2) allowed him to read adult materials.

These two statements are repeated ad naseum, becoming one-liner legends I'm tempted to dismiss as being copied one from the other in a strange daisy-chain of cut-and-paste -- but I won't. For while those statements are repeated at a frequency worthy of dismissal (further penalized by the blandness that only an absence of documentation coupled with a lack of description can provide) they also represent something else.

First looking at the context of the statements, the on-one-hand 'credit' (these experiences creating the comedian's successful act) and on-the-other-hand mention (a nod to the bizarre foreshadowing the comedian's doomed life), points to the question of Marr's fitness for motherhood. Because moms cannot be sexual or sex positive without damaging herself and her children, her parenting is so unorthodox that no further explanation is deemed necessary.

For the record, I snort & chafe at such beliefs.

In Seriously Funny, by Gerald Nachman, there seems to be some discrepancy over Sally's literal mothering -- some claiming that she was rarely around for Lenny between the ages of 8 to 17. Surely at odds with the stories of how the 12 year old was watching the burlesque shows him mom emceed; make up your minds, people.

(And, speaking of such things again, it should also be noted that at burlesque shows in those days, no strippers went nude -- it was an art form of tease and humor. While I cannot say just what 'adult materials' Bruce had, let alone which momma Marr allowed him to have, we cannot ignore that while complete nudity and even penetration porn may have existed, Marr herself is to have said, "A woman's best weapon is a man's imagination." In that case, it's pretty clear that Marr knew that a g-string dollar was proffered for the teasing suggestion, not any actual delivery.)

Many go further and seem to seek to mar Marr's reputation by depicting her not only as morally questionable, but as opportunistic as well. They mention how she dared to enjoy being famous as Lenny Bruce's Mom; ignoring the fact that Lenny's big break, the gig at Ann's 440 where Hugh Hefner spotted him, wouldn't have happened had Sally not told the manager of Ann's 440 not to hire herself but her son. They mention how she sought Lenny's limelight, even milking it after he was dead; but side-step Marr's willing assistance & support (including financial) to other comedians. (She is credited for spotting the talents Cheech & Chong, Sam Kinison, and others.)

What's really telling about all of this is the irony. While they are busy depicting Sally Marr this way, the truth is seen: It is they who are only interested in Lenny Bruce, and Marr for her relationship with him.

Now there's some serious projection.

Little else of Marr's own life is mentioned. There's this bit in The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America, by Lawrence J. Epstein:

Born Sadie Kitchenberg, Marr had, at age twelve, been a contestant in a beauty contest judged by Rudolph Valentino. She was offered a job on the basis of her provacative performance, but her father refused to let her accept it. She began dancing, winning a variety of contests, giving dance lessons, and always looking to perform.

During World War II, with her son Lenny off in the navy and her husband long gone, Marr worked in bars an an emcee. Audiences responded well to her slightly off-color jokes, and eventually she moved on to larger comedy clubs. When her career waned, Marr transferred her show business ambitions to her son, becoming Lenny's coach and number-one fan, in the tradition of Sadie Berle and Minnie Marx.

Such intriguing brief hints at Marr's life before motherhood -- of her having a life before and outside of being the comedian's mother... I drool from my aroused organ (my brain; sheesh, you're smutty).

Even if she wasn't going to ever win any awards for World's Most Traditional Mother (and who the hell wants that honor?!), even if she was thrilled to bask in Lenny's fame, even if you don't like her -- I do.

I'm intrigued by this woman who impressed Valentino, who taught girls (of all ages & sorts) to dance (all sorts of dances), who understood seduction, who played with risque humor, who not only raised a son so funny & wise but got his humor too. It's her biography I want to read.

And if you've got any more info about Sally Marr, any objects & photos etc., no matter what name she's billed as, please share!