Vintage Turtles Membership Card

An old Official Membership Card for the International Association of Turtles.


The turtles have a very interesting history, and the back of the card reads:

We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jack Ass. On this assumption is the reason for the password.

This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You MUST then reply "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embarassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password.

As all members are of clean mind to become an official Turtle the person must solve the following riddles with clean-minded correct answers:

1. What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on three legs? (Answer: shake hands).

2. What is it that a cow has four of and woman has only two of? (Answer: legs).

3. What is a four letter word ending in 'k' that means the same as intercourse? (Answer: talk).

4. What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas that you can hand a hat on it? (Answer: his head).

You are now a member of The Turtle Club. Govern yourself accordingly and produce new members.

Note: The spelling errors are as on the card; and the questions appear to have changed & increased in number according to this quiz. I only got 7 right, so am I'm too dirty to be a turtle? You bet your sweet ass I am.