Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Less Me, Less Muckraking

I really hate to make this post -- I feel it clutters up the blog. But on the second anniversary of Silent Porn Star, some things apparently need to be addressed. Rather than an insipid celebration, I bring you a (perhaps long overdue) opus on the blog (an additional FAQ of sorts).

In the interest of those who don't care -- who want 'on with the show!' -- I'm going to list the types of persons/issues covered here. If you don't see 'you' on the list and are not overly interested in 'the blog as whole' (but rather just enjoy the pieces), please, feel free to skip this post. (There are no nifty photos or images to entertain.)

1) Companies/persons with products to sell.
2) Persons who want to ring my neck because I won't play memes & other online games.
3) Persons who want to know more about me, the person behind the blog.

-- Begin Opus --

Blogging is a balancing act. Every expert will tell you that blogging is all about 'transparency', the ability to be seen, identified, and contacted. The degree of transparency, to many, equals the degree of respectability and/or credibility. People 'should have the right to know who you are' including your education, experience and whatever else it is that makes you able to have -- or at least justify -- your opinions, ramblings, advice etc. On the surface, this sounds fair enough. Yet most of the sane folks will also warn you about privacy, especially in the adult arena. Put the two together and bloggers who talk about, show, or otherwise deal in human sexuality have to tread carefully. Transparency & Safety are a balancing act.

I will admit that in the matter of transparency I likely err on the side of safety. Other than contact info, I give little of myself away; and that's by design. However, my privacy is not the only reason for my opaqueness; in fact, it's not even the primary reason.

When I started this blog, I did so with very clear ideas of what I wanted to do: To look at stuff (of a sexual nature) and, where I could, examine them as a part of their time and a part of our culture. But I also knew that whatever you knew, whatever I shared about myself, would color how you interpret and react to this blog's show and tell.

I realize that I'm a filter, the filter, and as such there's a lot of 'me' in here. My gender, race, education, profession, economic status, marital status, motherhood, age, weight, and probably eye color for all I know -- all of that colors what I select and say. I know that much, have admitted that much. But still, I try to limit the amount of 'me' here.

For every person who thinks that my own education, for example, would lend credibility to what I say; there would be another who would find it lessens my credibility.

If I said my education was in marketing, poli-sci, English, history, which would make my posts crap? Which would make them credible? Would the institution matter?

This is tricky, subjective, and hell, highly personal.

With sex, it's trickier yet.

If I said that I had been paid for assisting people with their sex lives, would it be better (more credible) if that assistance came from authoring sex ed manuals, research for a call-in radio show, a condom maker, a Planned Parenthood nurse, a therapist for sex addicts, a sex toy inventor, or a hooker? For that matter, who is the most knowledgeable about sex? Is a counselor more knowledgeable about sex, or is a medical doctor? A sex worker? Would the gender, of any, matter?

In truth, your answers are in part based upon your gender, race, education, personal experiences, etc., etc., etc. They are your filter, and add to the conversations (comments & emails) -- even dictate whether you'll be here in general. But just as I don't require you to name, divest or otherwise unravel that ball of yarn which is you in order to share your thoughts, I don't need to do so to share mine either. We may be curious about one another, you and I... but we really don't need to know all of that.

This is why I decline to participate in online memes, refuse to review sex toys here, won't tell you what positions I love & hate, and won't dish on what I did last night, or who it was with. My feelings on the reverse cowgirl, the latest vibrating Vivid Girl gadget, or bisexual escapades in (or post) college are even less relevant than the afore mentioned matters. I can (and in many cases do) all of those things elsewhere without mucking things up here -- it makes for less muckraking. And that's the point.

I want the objects, persons, scandals, artifacts and artifices to be under the microscope, the fodder for discussion; not me.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Shon Richards said...

When I first came across this blog what I enjoyed most was how nearly every post was of importance. It took me awhile to realize it was because of what you just said: you were not the focus. When it comes to sex and collecting, there is no better blog to read because it is always about the sex and the collecting. Like a real collector, you are interested in letting your collection do the talking.

I think sex bloggers especially fall into the trap of sharing a wee bit too much. There is too much emphasis in becoming a sex symbol rather than producing content.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Silent-Porn-Star said...

Shon, you get me -- you really get me!

(When no one's looking, I shall kiss thee.)

6:58 PM  
Blogger thombeau said...

Well said, my friend!

7:34 PM  

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