The Friday Night Bookstore Crowd

As part time Walden Books seller (from the mid 80's to early 90's) I often worked the Friday night shift. Even in bookstores there are the cool kids who have parties and dates to attend, but really, most folks didn't like working Friday nights because of the clientele. Friday nights meant customers with weekly paychecks and those who made a bee-line for the mall bookstore were the male geeks.

Well, I shouldn't say they made a bee-line. It was more like they cashed their checks, had a meal out and then headed to the bookstore. It was an event for most of them. You'd think with the number of them it was an organized event, but it wasn't. It was a crowd of individuals, a date-night for one if you will, with the crowd consisting of socially awkward individuals who didn't speak to each other. (Again, I should point out this phenomena was seen in the male of the geek species; women are an entire other story.)

So the store is full of single men, with a penchant for computer and tech magazines, who all manage to merge at the magazine rack but never, ever mingle. There's no talking. No boasting of equipment. No eye rolling over who would pick that pc magazine. No talking at all because that would mean human connection, and clearly these boys weren't up for it.

My first Friday night, I saw the busy store with its well behaved customers (these guys waited patiently in line and never sighed impatiently or did most of the other annoying things I experienced on other busy sales days) and I wondered what the fuss was all about. Why did the other workers not want to work Fridays? It was just me, the manager who sat in back doing her weekly reports and only came on the floor to close the register, and Gary, the only male employee. So at my first opportunity, I asked Gary what the problem with Fridays was. Gary just mumbled something about other employees having plans -- but I did notice he blushed. Something wasn't quite right here...

It wasn't until my second Friday night shift that I figured it all out.

Gary had worked the register the previous Friday and he began the shift there as well. At one point he left to help a (non-geek) customer find a book, and I, seeing a line begin to form, jumped to pitch in and ring sales. As soon as I appeared at the register the first geek in line seemed reluctant to have me process the sale. He stood uncomfortably, even looked towards the back of the store where Gary had disappeared, as I stood with my hands out waiting to receive his magazines -- a huge friendly smile on my face. It was an awkward moment. But eventually he accepted that Gary's return wasn't going to save him so he handed his items to me and I saw him flush as he lowered his head.

I scanned the first pc magazine and set it to the side. Then the next pc magazine, and set that to the side. That's when I saw it. A copy of Penthouse. It all clicked then.

These guys came in to buy their computer & tech magazines and their porn.

I know I blushed a bit during this first sale. Not because of the porn shocking me, but because I wasn't expecting it. Most of the porn buyers I'd seen were men who boldly strode in weekdays, typically on their lunch breaks, and purposefully walked to the adult magazine section of the rack and still walking, used one hand to grab the nudie mag as they walked to the counter. It was more like a relay event, with a porn mag hand-off. They used speed and a bit of testosterone aggression to get the process over with as quickly as possible. They may have been embarrassed, but they seemed more like they wanted to get to the centerfolds during their lunch break and stopping to purchase was a necessary inconvenience. The geeks, on the other hand, were clearly embarrassed. They hid their porn beneath their other magazines and apparently were more comfortable with Gary checking them out than me.

With the next sale, I was prepared and I didn't blush. Now I knew the Friday Night Secret.

I stayed at the register all night. Gary seemed a bit flustered upon his return, but I wasn't moving. (It was faster work and just staying on the sales floor I had had little else to do -- these guys didn't need help finding what they wanted.)

That night when we closed Gary asked me how it was. I told him it was fine. He was clearly uncomfortable for me, so I told him not to worry, it didn't creep me out. They were just lonely guys who wanted porn, no biggie. And despite how busy we were, the store was impeccably clean. These guys were well-behaved shoppers all around.

The word got out that I liked working Friday nights and some of the full-time ladies teased me. They talked about how I must thrill the shy boys with my big bust line, and how they'd likely start lining up on Fridays just to see me. "Better they dream of you than buy porn," they'd say. Which then creeped out the other ladies who said that's what they feared most. I laughed it all off, but felt bad for these geeks who heaven forbid should ever have one of these ladies meet them at the register.

These guys were nice. Shy, but nice. Over the years I got a few of them (all regulars you know) to even exchange small talk at the register. A few had given me the old palm stroke as money was exchanged, so I was careful not to give them any indication I was flirting or interested, but I felt badly about how lonely these guys were. I figured that maybe knowing I was comfortable with them -- geek stuff, porn and all -- that they'd see that others could be too. And if any masturbated to the busty book girl whose palm they'd dared to stroke, well, who cares? You never know who is going to masturbate to mental images of you anyway.

I often wonder about the Friday Night Geeks of past years... Do they have stacks of neatly preserved porn? Boxes of pristine retro pc magazines? Do they remember the book seller who smiled and chatted with them?

And with the ease of the Internet, does this still occur?

Photo credits: Retro pc mags from GameSetWatch. Retro porn mags via Wonderclub: specifically, January, 1984, Penthouse and November, 1989, Playboy.